an intersting link

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/invite/SpecialComment

I encourage everyone to watch this.

Sincerely,

goat

To make a long story short.... to late

I went to a protest last Friday where we, as gay people were asked to share our stories with people so that there may be better understanding. I am not sure where to start or what understanding I may help people have but here goes.

I came out on October 26, 1986. I was a PFC in the Army National Guard and busy learning my army job- 91 A- medic at Ft Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas.

What lead up to this event? Did it start in the womb? I don't know. I remember my mother once telling me she knew I was different from the day I was born. Maybe it started with the crush I had on Karen Rasmussen. She was our next door neighbor and I couldn't have been more than 6 because we moved when I was 6. That was a busy year come to think of it because along with desperately loving Karen I also proposed to Nanette Horman. We were in the same kindergarten class. I thought she hung the moon.

I was quite the tomboy. I don't remember really feeling as if I were different from the other girls. I was pretty oblivious of kid politics unless it involved my little brother. I was his champion and he was my conscience. Poor kid was always in trouble for listening to me... anyway, at age 10 my best friend was Tracy. We were tight and I was wrecked when she moved to L.A. later that year. I met up her with after I came out and found that she had also. It was a good reunion.

When I was 12, our family moved to Elko, NV. Actually we moved to Spring Creek which is actually 15-ish miles south of Elko. The only really social contacts I had were through church. I grew up mormon. At 12 I was entering the young woman's program. To this day, I am not sure what that is all about. Are the sexes separated so that in those awkward years, the young people will be among others of the same sex who are experiencing the same traumatic and wonderful things, thereby feeling somewhat normal and safe? I can't say that that was how it was for me. When we moved I pretty much became an outsider in the social way of things. When all the teenage girl things started to happen, I felt confused and for the first time, I felt different.

As I moved on from jr. high into highschool and my peers started to talk about boys, talk to boys and date boys... I just didn't know what to do with that. There were boys I was friends with. (Many of them, I have since found out, are gay.) There wasn't really dating. I didn't date a lot. It just didn't interest me. I was asked far more than I accepted. It was just weird.

While trying to figure life out, I had many intense friendships with girls my own age. Intense meaning, I loved them, I was always wanting to hug them and be around them. Sometimes I scared them away and it took years for me to figure out why.

One big milestone was when I was 15. I was at the church with my freind Dena. I don't remember why we were there, Dena was a nonmember and I know it wasn't Sunday because i distinctly remember both of us wearing pants. We were sitting in the foyer on the floor and she was talking and I remember thinking to myself about how much I loved her. I then followed that thought with, "maybe I'm gay"... That caught my inner attention because I had never thought that before, I really wasn't even sure I knew what it meant, so I dismissed it. I never really thought about it again until my senior year in high school.

Monica... some people say that you never get over your first true love, for me it was her. I was a senior and she was a freshman. We met through my brother at a basketball game. She was absolutely enchanting. I was obsessed. The second semester of my senior year must have been hell for my folks. I had no idea how things appeared outside of my own little lavender cloud of denial. I just knew I had found the most wonderful friend ever. There wasn't anything physical about our relationship. It was just another intense friendship for me. As I stated before, I had no clue about being gay, that is until around April of that year when Monica went cold and evasive. After spending hours begging for her to talk to me she told me what people (her friends, her mom and random people at school) were saying. That we were dykes. I am sure the look on my face was comical because I really didn't know what that meant. When I figured it out I went to Monica and said that they were silly, we couldn't be dykes.

I didn't have any reasons to explain why we weren't other than the fear that people were saying we were. This was a really weird time for me looking back. There was a lot of tension between me and my mother. My dad was the bishop at this time and rarely home. I was a good kid. I didn't party- ever. No drinking or smoking. It didn't interest me so much. I spent most of my evenings over at Monica's, listening to music, watching t.v. and just hanging out. Sometimes, we held hands but that was it and that was just a show of affection. I was so totally clueless.

I graduated and went away to college. My roommate was Beth. I think she had more of a clue than I did. Also at this time I met a woman named Camille. She was the first lesbian I ever met that I know of. I didn't know it when I met her. She was fascinating and incredibly intense and I remember at one point she said she had something to show me. I asked her what and she looked into my eyes and then looked away and said, mostly to herself, "Not yet, you aren't ready". I really respect her for that. Because I have a feeling she was gonna help me out of the closet then and she was right, I wasn't ready.

During my freshman year I dated guys a little. I was proposed to 3 times. What was that about? It doesn't matter, I felt swept off my feet by Joseph Richard Costello in April of 1985. Between the time of my accepting his proposal and when we married, 1st of August the same year, I knew I was making a huge mistake but I had been caught up in a horrible momentum trap of my own making. The fact that in that short amount of time I started to see what a real asshole he was and I was completely at a loss as to what the hell I was doing didn't help. I just knew that I was doing what young women do in our church. I was doing what was right. It didn't matter that I still loved Monica (and she was pissed). It didn't matter that I don't think I ever loved Joey (hell I barely knew him). What I liked about him was his musicianship. I have had a lot of time to think about this and I know that his musical abilities were what attracted me. He played bass and classical guitar and he was really good. Worth marrying, no. Everyone could see it. I knew it but was pig headed and stubborn and was sure I could make it work.

Looking back, I really have Joey to thank for my coming out. If I hadn't married him, if he hadn't told me how stupid I was day after day and forced me to have sex with him, I may still be there, trying to do what is right according to the mormon church.

I left Joey after 8 months and the divorce went through in July. July 15, 1986. I joined the Army National Guard and the rest is history.

I remember my coming out as a liberation. I remember wanting to sing from the rooftops!

It took 2 more years before I came out to my family. I trusted my little sister with the news. That couldn't have been easy for her. I know it wrecked my dad.

The consequences since then have been well, enlightening. I was excommunicated. 4 years later I tried to do what was expected of me and was re baptised. I was then dis fellowshipped. Anyone who says that being gay is a choice is ignorant. Who in their right mind would willingly choose to be vilified and hated by society? Who would choose that? It isn't like gay people are accepted everywhere like VISA.

Since that time I was in a relationship with Toni. We were together for 14 years. I never wanted to marry Toni. I don't consider myself the marrying kind. Monogamy is hard for me. I think state sanctioned monogamy would be torture but I do understand that that is my opinion and it isn't shared by all people, gay or straight. There are many of my gay peers who want to be married. I think they should have that right- whatever it is called. Domestic partnership, civil union, marriage, eternal bondage... whatever it is called, the right should be for all people. Toni and I were together for 14 years. I wouldn't have legally married her if I were able BUT the right to do so should have been there and available.

I am not sure why people are so afraid. Two consenting adults want to pledge to be each others one and only, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, until death parts them. How is that scary and why should it be anyone's business except the two people involved? What would be wrong with two committed, consenting adults to have 1.) Health Benefits for their partners and families. 2.)Visitation Rights when a partner is hospitalized 3.)Immigration Rights for lesbian and gay partners of foreign nationals 4.)Social Security and pension survivor benefits AND 5.)Respect for our relationships.

This is my story in a nutshell. I hope that somewhere out there it may help to provide a better understanding to someone who may need it.

Obama

The speech below was found here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20081105/pl_ynews/ynews_pl135

My comments follow the speech, if you are interested.

Remarks of President-Elect Barack Obama-as prepared for delivery
Election Night
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
Chicago, Illinois


If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics - you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends...though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

Please sir, please, please, PLEASE live up to the words in your speech. Please be better than the lesser of two evils. You are an example of how a disenfranchised group in this country has truly persevered and over come. Can you now stand for those who are truly under represented? Those who's voices are truly being quashed, will you stand up for those of us who are still 2nd class citizens and and targets of religous zealots. I am speaking of your lesbian and gay constituents, sir. Will you truly embrace the diversity of an American people and let them all be equal? I for one, hope so.

BE EDUCATED

The time is coming for what I believe will be one of the most important elections this country has ever faced.
Be educated in your vote
I have provided a links to the candidates for both parties. Make an educated choice. We, the american people, deserve more than what is being offered. Vote for the one that least offends your intelligence.

www.wikipedia.org is also a great site. Just put in the candidates name.

www.4president.us/2008websites.htm

www.4president.us/websites/2008/barackobama2008website.htm


www.4president.us/websites/2008/joebiden2008website.htm

www.4president.us/websites/2008/johnmccain2008website.htm

gov.state.ak.us/

www.votenoneoftheabove.us

Remember that those who refuse to study history are destined to repeat it.