Thursday, October 23, 2008

Invictus

I have spent the last week thinking. I have alot of stuff on my mind and it seems impossible sometimes to get it out on "paper"

The economy worries me, the state of the nation and the election of a new leader, worries me. The fact that I am one of the many who lives paycheck to paycheck, worries me. Apathy, this culture's greatest enemy (in my opinion) worries me. This is a small example of the large list of things I have in my head.

Am I different from any other person in these things I worry about? I seriously doubt it.

The thing is, yesterday I was participating on a yahoo list I belong to. A friend of mine from that list posted this:

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the Pit, from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.


Its by William Ernest Henley. Talk about adversity. Go to wikipedia and read about that guy. Wow.

I read that and found myself with a feeling of release which filled me with a sense of wonder, like I wonder what I was needing release from. All those worries and cares had seemed to slowly but surely put a weight on me that was dragging me down and it happened so slowly and gradually. It's amazing how sneaky a mind can be. It was all at once empowering to be reminded that I am the master of my fate. Its breath of fresh air, the ability to stand up and take responsibility for myself that gives me strength. To not be a victim of circumstance of any kind. Does shit happen? Everyday, every damn day. I square my shoulders and face it head on. Its called life and I refuse to live it unconsciously.